Tourists, Retirees, and Other Reasons to Stay in Bed

David Grimes's humor column runs three times a week in the Sarasota Herald Tribune. David began writing his humor column in 1985 when it became clear that he had no talent for other, more useful jobs at the paper. David has gleaned a lifetime of wisdom from his 25 years as a Florida resident and offers us his sage advice on topics such as these: